It's been 1 month.....

WHERE IS OUR BABY?!?!

What's that you say?  1 month is nothing?  I know, I know.  I'm just kidding.  Kind of.

It's been 1 month since we were told that we were officially on the "wait list" to adopt.  To be honest, I've not been going crazy like I thought I would.  Thankfully, it's the holidays so we're busy with all that comes with that.  On the flip side, it's the holidays and I had really hoped that we would have another stocking to hang this year.  *Sigh*

We've got our 60 day monitoring visit with our caseworker in a couple of weeks.  I'm sure she won't have anything to tell us, but I'll be glad to see her.  She's great.

I plan on getting some more adoption books soon and spending a lot of time reading and educating myself more on adoption.  We've gotten a couple of suggestions of books...if you have any suggestions, I'd love to hear them!

We had a good Thanksgiving this year.  Lots to be thankful for.  We had dinner with our families and played fun games.  Grace and I shopped a little, though not crazy black friday shopping!  We filled our thankful tree with lots of paper leaves listing all of our thankfuls and we stuffed ourselves crazy.  I'm hoping that this post finds you as thankful as we are and that you had a wonderful Thanksgiving. 

I continue to think of the birth parents who are struggling with the decisions they will be making.  As anxious as I am to be chosen, I keep in mind that there is someone out there who will make our dream come true and I must be patient....as hard as it is!  :)

What's in a name?!

For a little while tonight Bill and I discussed baby names.  Oh man.  As I posted on my facebook page, I think our baby will eventually be named "I Don't Think So Fralick"!  We are optimistic, but not too foolish to think we need a name right now...but it doesn't hurt to be prepared in ways you have control of does it?  Didn't think so, thankyouverymuch!

So, what's in a name anyway?  I think it's a lot of pressure to name a kid.  This is the name your kid will have for the rest of their life and you are responsible for it.  Of course, I've been thinking of this since I was younger.  Bill, probably not so much.  But, he's had a stab at this already!  Anyway, you don't want it to rhyme with something not so, er, favorable.  I try to think of any nickname that can be made out of a name, rhyme that can be said with it, or what the initials will spell when put together first, middle, last.  You don't want it to be too hard to spell and you sure don't want the substitute teachers butchering it every time they have to say it.  You know, cause the regular teacher already knows how it goes.  Riiiiight.  Aghhh, the pressure!

Are you one of those people who get all freak-o about people knowing what you're going to name your baby?  I'm not.  I don't understand that at all.  So what if your kid and my kid have the same name?  Ahem.

Since we have no idea if we will get a boy or a girl [or 2 boys] {or 2 girls} <or a boy and a girl> we can't focus on just one thing.  So, we have a list.  Or 2 lists I guess. 

Is there a name that you've always wanted to name your baby?  Ever since I was a young girl, like jr. high, I've wanted to name a girl Mallory.  Always.  Anybody know why?  Anybody?!  Babysitters Club series books!!  I loved her in the books, and even more loved her name!  But, I find myself drawn to the name Norah more and more these days.  And that's one that Bill actually liked!  I had to shoot down his "Opal".  What would we call her for a nick name, "Opie"?  Yes, he says.  Really?  Really?!  Really.  Norah it is.  Or Mallory.  *Sigh*

Boy names are different.  I never gave a lot of thought to it.  Bill wants something really traditional, like John (nope, it's my dad's name) or William (just nope).  I suggested Ryan and he shot that down.  I added Luke and he said no because then we would have to have another boy named Bo.  Dukes of Hazzard.   *Even bigger sigh*  We both finally agreed on Cash or Jesse (though I'm not sold on that one just yet). 

Who says we're really sold on anything just yet?!  Grace has put in her input only for a girl name once......"Louise". 

"I Don't Think So" Fralick it is then!  What's in a name anyway?!

Sometimes I wonder....

...if a birth parent has read our blog and what they think of it? 
...if, even though it's only been a few days, a birth parent has looked at our online mini-profile through our agency?
...if the profile books we made stick out any from all the others the agency has?
...when our first call to show our profile will come?
...if we will have a baby to share the holidays with next year?  (I sure hope so!)
...what we will name our baby?  (We've discussed it a little, pretty much just to shoot down names the other has chosen! haha!)
...if Grace would settle for a name other than "Louise" if the baby were a girl.  That was her choice.  Not that there's anything wrong with the name, I just don't want it for my baby!  :)
...what my grandparents would think about the way adoption is today.  My great grandparents adopted 2 kids and my grandparents adopted my aunt.  Things were a lot different back then than they were today!
...how long this is going to take?!  I know, I know.  Be patient.
...if it's rude to stick my tongue out and roll my eyes to people who tell us to "be patient"!! :)

We're finally.....

waiting!!!  We received an email today from our caseworker to let us know that our online profile was up and that our hard copy profiles were up North and ready to go and that we are officially part of the domestic adoption program!  Very exciting!!  All I want to do is decide on baby names, go buy a crib and diapers, and pick out a nursery set.  BUT, if I've learned anything on our journey, it's not to get too ahead of myself.  I can't contain feelings of excitement, but I know to take it easy.  Doesn't mean I can't still think about it some!  Grace asked me tonight how long we were going to have to wait. I wish I had an answer for her as she is just about as patient as I am!!  I love how excited and interested in adoption she is.  She is going to be a great sister.  Our baby is going to be so lucky to have her. 

I'm so glad the holidays are here to keep us busy.  We've got a lot to be thankful for, how about you?  Seems the biggest blessings are the ones we tend to overlook sometimes.  Right now, I'm thankful for our caseworker for getting us through this so quickly and smoothly.  She has truly been a blessing and we are so excited to work with her more as this all lays out!

If you'd like to take a little looksie at the mini profile we've got and also check out some other waiting families, click here!  So many families waiting to share their love! 

  

Amost there!

I finished printing our profile books Sunday.  After buying a new printer to do so, because the ink for it was so much cheaper than our other printer. Then I ran out of ink and had to go buy some more.  Then I ran out again and had to go buy more.  Then, I printed the very last page and ran out of ink on it.  Soooo, I went to my sister's to print the very last page.  Or so I thought.  I came home and put allll of the pages in their separate books, only to realize that I needed 2 more pages printed.  It's a good thing my sister only lives a few blocks away.  You'll never guess what happened then.  I ran out of ink about half way through the 2nd page!  Shhh...I didn't tell her though.  Soooo, I had to go buy another ink cartridge.  And, finally, I had all of the pages printed.

We got our DCFS license in the mail yesterday!  Such a sign that this is becoming a reality.  Once we get our books turned into the agency, she will send them up North where they will actually be put into their "books".  After that, we wait.  Well, we wait now....but, the real wait begins.  I'm so glad that the holidays are approaching so my mind will be a little busy.  Do you have any good suggestions of things we should do while we wait?  We of course will still be researching adoption....reading books, online, etc.  I'd like to find a seminar to attend.  Anything else?  I'd love to hear from you.

We are almost there!  Almost there to finish our "pre-adoption" stuff anyway.  How exciting!! 

Frustration!

Things with our homestudy are finishing up, other than a few questions that Beth had for us to include in our homestudy report.  I really wish I knew why some of the stuff they need is so important, but it's never really been clear.

Let's back up for just a minute.  If you're not sure what a homestudy is, it's basically a report on Bill and I and our lives.  Every aspect of our lives.  Down to the little last detail.  No one will really see this report..we will have a copy, the agency will have a copy, and if we were ever to switch agencies, they would get a copy.   

So, as we've been meeting Beth, she's learning about us.  We've had to write reports on ourselves individually and on ourselves as a couple.  We knew we had to include a lot for the report, but geesh!  I can understand some of it, like how we met; talking about our relationship; even talking about our childhood.  I can understand including parents and siblings names....but much more than that is needed. 

Here's an example of a few things we've had to list:  Where our parents were born, when they graduated high school, and what they did (employment) while we were growing up (and now).  When and where our siblings were born, when they graduated high school, when and where they went to college, and their employment now.  We had to list marrige and divorce dates for our parents and siblings....luckily, only a couple of siblings are married.  Parents, on the other hand, proved to be a little more difficult.  Neither of my parents knew dates of marriages or divorces.  Gahhhhhh.  I did my best by looking up court records online.  I was able to get month and years, hoping that will suffice. 

That just scratched the surface.  I'm not complaining that we had to do this (does it sound like I am?!), I'm just frustrated at all that we have to do.  And I'm not frustrated with our agency, I think this is pretty commonplace anywhere you go.  In fact, I still couldn't be happier with them!  But still, my frustration comes and goes.  This week has been a rough one with my emotions running wild.  I think I'm just so anxious because we're at the end of the pre-adoption process and will very shortly join the waiting list.  I've got to settle down!  :)  And Bill, like a man, is just rolling along!  :)  I'm thankful he helps keep me grounded!

So, there's my frustration!  I need to hear some adoption stories....got any you want to share?  Feel free to drop us an email here or leaving a comment!  I'm reeeeally planning on not waiting 2 weeks to blog again!  It was my intentions to blog regularly and I've been lacking!  I look forward to hearing from you....check back soon to check on our progress of hoping to build our family!     

New picture!!

We got great news from Beth last week. We've finished our training required by our agency and will get our adopt only license after she completes our walk through of our home next week!  After that, we turn in our profiles and we're set to go!

I took some time last week and sat down to write our dear birthparent letter.  I like to think that I wear the "writing pants" in our family, but Bill definitely has his input.  Grace even had her own little say in it.  I struggled to write it...not because I couldn't think of anything to say, but because I wanted to make sure what I wanted to say came across the right way, how I was actually feeling.  I bawled my eyes out in the beginning.  It was very tough.  I tried to put myself into the shoes of the birthparent who would be reading it.  The decisions that they would be making weighed heavy on my heart.  I cannot imagine what they will feel while reading it, but I hope that my letter will help ease their mind, whether they choose us to parent their baby or not. 

We sent the letter to Beth, who read it over and sent it back with no suggestions or corrections and said it was great.  This was a huge relief to me!  The only thing we have to do now is choose all of the photos that will go in our book.  We've chosen most of them, waaaay too many of them, so we need to condense our life in photos to a mere six to eight 8.5x11 pages.  Piece of cake.  Hmph.  I'm hoping to have a rough draft of the whole book done by next week when she comes.  After it's reviewed, we'll make copies and they'll be shipped up North, ready to be sent out for viewing.  I'm shooting for the end of October....exciting!!! 

I had a rough time picking out the front page picture for our book,  With the help of facebook friends, we chose the one below.  What do you think?!  *A big kudos goes to my sister for taking some pictures for us....though she is not the photographer in our family, she does a pretty good job!*



Whoever and wherever you are, thanks for following our adoption story!  We look forward to giving you a happy ending to read!  As always, feel free to leave or email any comments and or questions you have....love hearing from you!!

Not creative enough for a title!

I'm a little behind....ok, a *lot* behind on the blog I promised after our second home visit considering we've had a 3rd also and are preparing for a 4th this week!  It all seems to be happening so quickly and there's so much to do!  Our caseworker has assured us though that as soon as the home visits are over there will be lots of waiting.  Blech.

Grace was excited and liked Beth very much.  They talked in Grace's room for a bit and Beth said she could tell that Grace was ready!  As if I had any question!  Grace said Beth asked her how she felt her life would change and she said she might not get all of the things she gets now, but that she was ok with that.....at least she's ok with being "mostly spoiled rotten" instead of being "the ONLY ONE mostly spoiled rotten"!  haha  Grace watched a video with us last week and weighed in with her own thoughts and questions.  I was very impressed with some of her questions.  I have no doubt in my mind that she is going to be a wonderful big sister.  I can't wait.

We've been doing lots of talking and training with Beth.  Tons of it is so informational and a lot to take in.  Until you're in this situation, I don't think you really think of things, like "adoption lingo".  But, believe me, it's there.  And we've been studying it.  Our house has passed the initial walk through just fine for foster home licensing.  Even though we won't be fostering, we still have to be licensed.  I fretted so much about what would be wrong with our home, obviously for no reason.  Just the worry wart in me, I guess! Our "big" walk through will be in a couple of weeks, but I'm confident we will be ok.  Once that's done, we will have our license and will just have to finish our profiles!

Ohhh, the profiles.  I'm still worrying over writing a letter for the profile.  That's my goal for sometime this weekend.  Find some quiet time and write my guts out.  Orrrrr, maybe that would be too gross.....I'll just spend some time writing my heart out!

I think I've gotten most of the pictures picked out.  Bill will have to go through and see if there are any he wants to add and I want to get a few pictures of our house, but other than that, I think we're good.  Now, organizing them and getting them to fit and not be too overwhelming is my next challenge!  Then I just have to do it all over again 5 times!!

Bill and I have some research to do and decisons to make regarding what we would be comfortable with concerning potential birth issues -  ie, fetal alcohol syndrome, drug use, mental health issues.  **What does "ie" stand for anyway?  Ahem.  As I was saying, tough decisions.  Lots of research to do....would appreciate your thoughts/prayers as we weigh all of these possibilities and make decisions.

I *promise* I will not wait 2 weeks for my next update!  I hope that this one has found you well and enjoying the beginning of fall.  Please feel free to drop me a comment or email anytime...I love hearing from you!!   

        

Rambling....

We've got one home study visit down!  I was so nervous for that first visit last week, and in the end I worked myself up over nothing!  We have another visit today and Grace will meet Beth.  Things are moving along wonderful and I couldn't be happier.  I have every finger and toe crossed that we will have our profile out there by the end of October.  We'll see. 

I'm pretty nervous about the "Dear Birth Parent" letter that we have to write.  For some time now, I've been thinking of this and that and jotting down bits and pieces that I wanted to add.  We got a sample letter the other day in our packet, and I almost fainted when I read it and it was nearly identical to what I wanted to say.  Back to the drawing board.  I definitely want it to be real, so I will not "change" it, but I guess I will have to modify it.  I don't think there are any words to say to make it any easier, but surely I think I could give some reassurance to our birth parents that they are making the right decision.  I fancy myself a pretty good writer, and I think this is because I write what is real.  I just hope this comes across in our letter. 

Like many of my friends, I love the show on MTV, Teen Mom.  I find myself most drawn to Catelynn and Tyler's story because they placed their baby for adoption.  I've followed their story from the beginning and it was not an easy one.  They faced many objections from their family and did not have the support that they needed from those that they needed it most from.  They seem to be doing well now and have a seemingly strong relationship which has endured everything they have been through for being so young.  This week they spoke of their feelings of being birth parents, while their baby had her "parents" to make her decisions.  I hope that you will take a few minutes and find this clip online and watch it.  It was very touching and I hope that our birth parents will feel much like they do.  I know that no 2 situations are going to be the same, but I hope that we can give the same reassurance that their adoptive parents have given them.  Really, go watch this!  You will love it!  Maybe.  I hope so anyway!  And FYI, secretly, Bill watches it with me sometimes and he even likes it!  Don't tell him I told you that though.

So, I feel like I've rambled on and that this is starting to not make any sense!  I am at work and my co-worker/cousin brought her laptop today and while we are waiting on patients I am blogging, maybe not the best idea since I can't keep my focus!  haha   I will update tomorrow on our visit this evening and hopefully make more sense then! 

Truckin' along....

Things are truckin' along smoothly so far with our new agency.  We've done more paperwork and already have 3 home visits set up for September.  Our caseworker Beth said that we should hopefully have a rough draft of our home study done by the 3rd visit.  Yahhhhh!!  That means that after that, we do our profile and we are ready to be seen....hopefully. 

It just doesn't seem real that this is moving on so quickly.  I know that already having our fingerprint and background clearances done are helping, but this lady seems to really be on top of things.  And just because the licensing is going quicker than expected doesn't mean that there will be a placement as quick....and we're ok with that.  Time will tell! 

Grace is very excited, and eager to talk to Beth.  I can only imagine what she will have to say!  I do know that she will be a great big sister who has so much love to give.  I see how well she helps with and plays with our nephew and it's, well, awesome!  Though there is a big age difference between them - 6 years with Chace and almost 10 with Miles, I think she does really well! 

Speaking of an "almost" 10 year old, guess who will be the big one-oh next month?! 

We've been busy planning a "peace out" birthday party for our little (big) girl who will hit double digits!  I'll be sure to post pictures from the fun day! 

But, before that, guess who's got a birthday in just 4 days?!

Yep, this handsome guy right here (the big one, haha)! 

Doesn't he look great with a baby in his arms?!  :) 

Lots to celebrate, and lots to look forward to in the coming year!

Making the switch....

As I had expressed a couple of posts ago, we were struggling with the decision to switch agencies.  Well, we talked about it and decided to go for it.....and are we ever glad that we did!  I was so nervous to "break up" with LCFS that I dreaded making the phone call.  Turns out, our old case worker almost sounded relieved when I told her.  First sign that this was a good decision. 

Immediately after, I called LSSI and reminded them of who I was and that we wanted to switch to them.  They remembered me and took a truck load of information over the phone and promised a phone call from a case worker that day.  Sounding better!  Within 1 hour case worker calls me back and is ever thorough on e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g. she could think of to get started.  Speaking with her on the phone, I was already more excited than I'd been thus far and her enthusiasm to help just made it all the better!

As promised from her, I immediately received an email with some information to fill out and received a packet in the mail the very next day.  The second that I faxed her back our consent to release information, she was on the phone with our old caseworker.  To quote her words to me in a recent email..."I am available to move as quickly with the home study/licensing process as you need."

Say whaaat?!  Awesome!

Though we signed a consent to transfer information, there's not really a lot to "transfer".  We will have to start over filling out paperwork, which is no big deal.  I secretly like to fill out forms.  I guess it's not so secret anymore.  Ahem.  I love the "organization" of a form.  I border on hysteria when I mess up and need to cross something out or *gasp* white-out something if I messed up.  Ok not "hysteria" really, but it probably makes my face flush.  Haha! 

So, in a sense, we are starting over.  Not from the very beginning, since we already have fingerprint and background check clearances done.  She said that having those will save us some precious time. 

Speaking of precious, remember that I got a new nephew the day before my birthday?  Check him out!

Holding this precious little guy reminds me (as if I'd forget!) of how much I want this.  I look at his sweet face and wonder of the amazing feeling I will have holding my own baby.  I'm sure there's nothing like it, and I can't wait to find out! 

32

Today is my birthday!  Though I still do not have that one special gift that I long for, I have had a wonderful day.  My new nephew was born yesterday, so this birthday has been extra special!  Normally every year, I have a good cry because I just knew that by my next birthday I would be a mom.  That cry hasn't happened this year.  I am bothered by it, but I honestly feel that this year will be different....or maybe I've just been too preoccupied to cry!  Haha! 

Who knows, maybe our baby was born today, on my birthday!  I thought of him/her today (whether they are born yet or not) as I held my nephew and wondered where they were.  I wonder how long it will be before we hear the ok to bring our baby home?  I'm hoping it will come this year!  Thinking and hoping every day that someone who is looking for us finds us soon.  I just hope it doesn't take another 365 days!  :) 

Bump!

Take a right on Maple, then a left on Oak St.  Follow until the ground gets rocky.  Here you will reach your destination....bump in the road.  This is how my directions seem to read lately!  :)

I finally spoke with our case worker last week, and set up an appointment to meet with her on Aug 11.  She explained how she had been out of the office for a bit, and that her husband had a malignant tumor on his eye and is going through chemo/radiation now.  I hate this for her, I can't imagine if this were to happen to Bill. 

I called our local Lutheran Services and found out that they are different from the agency we are working with now.  I had asked a couple of times at our agency that I heard they had offices in Marion, and they always said no.  After talking to a friend who assured me that she had talked to a case worker in Marion, I called the Marion office.  While they are a Lutheran agency, they are indeed different....though they do the same stuff.  Our agency is Lutheran Child and Family Services while the one closer to home is Lutheran Social Services of Illinois.  Ok then.  The lady I talked to was very nice and personable.  I was pretty much told that if we weren't happy with our agency then we needed to tell them and call LSSI back and they could ask for our file and we could go from there.  I have been so back and forth on this.  I really just don't have any "feeling" about our current agency, and it's so far away.  God forbid if something should happen to our case worker's husband, there's only one other case worker there who's already overloaded.  It's not necessarily anything that our agency has done personally, but I think we should just have that "feeling" that we're in the right place.   *Sigh*

I know we will make the right decision, but getting there seems to be a challenge!  Just another bump in the road.  I've never been great at reading maps, but luckily I have Bill by my side, who is a great navigator!  When this is all over and done and our house isn't so quiet any more, I will wonder why I fretted so much about this!

I hope all of you who are reading this have a wonderful day and that you will find the right path that will take you off of your bumpy road, whatever it may be!

Sometimes I get frustrated....

but it's all part of it.  Going into this, I knew it would take a while.  It seemed to take forever to find an agency, and then forever to get started.  Forever in my eyes anyway!  We made the first call to Lutheran Child and Family Services in February 2011.  As I said before, we turned in our application and submitted fingerprints in April.  We've been waiting and waiting to hear from our case worker to let us know that we could go ahead.  We've heard from her a couple of times to let us know we were on the back burner while they waited for background check clearances for DCFS, but nothing lately.  So, I called today and found that our case worker has been out for about a week and another looked at our file for us and said that our clearances came back on June 3!! 

On one hand, I was glad to know that it had been done.  But, on the other, I would have appreciated a call to let us know that all was ok and they were just busy.  I was told that our case worker should be contacting us shortly to schedule an appointment.  Her husband has been sick, so that makes it understandable, but still....I wish someone would have called! 

Home studies take on average 3-6 months, so I'd like to get the ball rolling.  We are encouraged by our agency to be in touch with other agencies to "network", but no one even wants to talk to us unless our home study is done.  Tick - tock....  However, if we happen to find a birth parent, things can be sped up.  So, please continue to pass along the link to our blog!  Thanks! 

We continue to think daily of the parents of our baby who are looking for us as much as we are looking for them.  We think of you every day and the courageous decision you have weighing on your mind.  And while we get frustrated and it seems to take f.o.r.e.v.e.r, we'll find each other one day!

Get to know us a little better....

and head over to my original blog - http://www.fralickfamily.blogspot.com/  You'll find lots of pictures, stories, and other nonsense that I've rambled on about!  Don't forget if you have any questions, just email me at buildingthefralickfamily@hotmail.com 

Here are some pictures from our recent family vacation, clockwise from top left corner: The only thing Grace wanted to do while we were in Las Vegas was go to Gold and Silver Pawn, the pawn shop famous on the History Channel's show "Pawn Stars". We went for 2 days in hopes that she would meet the cast, and she finally met Chumlee, the one she most wanted to meet! *Odd show for a kid to like, I know!* 2) Us outside our hotel in LV, getting ready to go walk the strip. 3) Modeling a cool sign we found on Fremont St. 4) Mini golfing in Utah. 5) Grace came across a "statue" while we were walking the strip one night. It was a very convincing statue too! 6) The only picture I really wanted in LV, by the famous sign, we almost didn't get it because we were cutting it close on time to get to the airport, but I really wanted that picture! 7) At the Hoover Dam, I am very afraid of heights and my knees buckled a little! 8) Bill and Grace at the Hoover Dam - it was very windy there!

So what do you want?

This seems to be a common question when we talk to people about adopting.  We want what every parent wants when they are having children.  I know what they mean though.  Race?  Age?  Sex?  It seems that since you are adopting that you get to have your choice of what you want, but it's not that simple.  I can tell you what we think we want.  But, I could be all wrong.  What can I say?!  I'm not always right!  We could get a call eventually that someone has chosen us and the baby be completely opposite of what we had in mind, and we may fall head over heels for him/her.  Time will tell. 

Ideally, we would like to adopt domestically.  There may come a time when we decide to go beyond the borders, but for now we are sticking with the US.  Sex does not matter one bit to us.  You don't have the option when you conceive a baby (actually, you can try to scientifically - but I think you're messing with the wrong kind of stuff there!) so why be picky when adopting?  We don't have a preference of race either.  Call me selfish, but I would prefer an infant.  I want those "bonding from birth" experiences.  I may not get that, but if you ask me what age I want right now - that's my answer!  The other question that is asked is how we feel about special needs.  Since the category "special needs" is so vague, it just depends on the issue.  There are a lot of adoptive parents out there who, no questions asked, could take on anything that came their way.  I admire these people in a big way. 

So, though it's something we get asked a lot, I couldn't tell you 100% "what we want".  I know that things can change in an instant, and we're open to explore anything that comes at us.  I also know in my heart that when our baby comes along I know he/she will be exactly what we've been looking for and exactly what we want.       

After we said it out loud.....

we didn't have any idea where to go from there, really.  We talked to our families and friends about adopting and everyone was very excited.  We were assured that whether our baby was biologically ours or not, it would receive the same love and attention either way.  Not that we had any doubt, but it's nice to have the reassurance! 

We have a good friend who had recently adopted, but we aren't "religious enough" (and I don't mean that snarky) to use the same agency.  I looked online for hours and researched agencies just to try to get some questions answered as to what we needed to do first.  The first agency I called by Chicago bluntly told me they didn't have time and that we should just look somewhere else.  Well, then. 

Lutheran Child and Family Services had been mentioned to us a couple of times, so I called them and requested an information packet.  We received an application in March (several, several pages!) and we were invited to a seminar held in Belleville, IL  on April 2, 2011.  We spent all day at the seminar and came away with more knowledge than we started with.  It's all still so confusing though!  Since we turned in our initial paperwork, we have received and turned in more, been fingerprinted, written "essays" about our childhood/young adult years/adult years/and our relationship, and we have waited.  We were told that background checks/fingerprint reports don't come back for approximately 2 months.  That really stinks because we know they're fine, but they don't.  A caseworker has called us just to let us know that they're still waiting and that we are just on the back burner for a while.  BUT, that we should continue to "network" and try to find other agencies to work with.  Who knew?  I always assumed you found and agency and you worked with them.  Boy, was I wrong!

We received an email the other day pretty much telling us that they needed proof that we were serious, as the agency is so busy I guess they are trying to figure out who still wants to adopt.  Um, yes...we do, we do!  I had assumed since we were "on the back burner" and that our home study wasn't even started yet, that we were just supposed to wait for them.....nope!  *If* we happen to find a birth parent (or one finds us), there are steps that can be taken to speed the process up. 

Gone are the days of waiting for your number to come to receive a baby.  You are chosen by the birth parents based on your profile, your website, or even a scrapbook.  Though it may take longer, I think this is an awesome system.  It gives the birth parents the decision of who will raise their baby.  When you put your life out there, you give them all you have.  I've read that some people think of this as unethical and that you are "selling" your life.  I guess in a sense it is.  As long as you are pitching yourself honestly, I don't see a problem with it. 

Of course I want someone to read our blog or view our scrapbook and think, "Now, they would be good parents!".  But, every birth parent is looking for something different.  Out there, I know someone is looking just as hard for us as we are looking for them!  I think of you every day and the difficult decision you are struggling with.  I hope when you find us your decision will be a little more bearable. 

About us....Bill and Lisa

You'll see our picture to the right.  This was taken last year....my hair is longer, Grace's hair is shorter, and Bill doesn't have a beard anymore!  We have been dating for almost 5 years and married for 3 years August 1!  We live in Southern Illinois and love it here (except the humidity in the summer!).  We both have family all over the United States, but all of our immediate family lives within 1-30 miles of us.   

Bill has a 9 year old daughter and we think she's the best!  Grace is a very caring and polite kid, loves to be funny, and thinks she's the next Taylor Swift.  Who knows?!  We try to encourage her to do her best and be herself.  She lives primarily with her mother and we get to see her once a week and every other weekend.  She loves it here and has her own room that we have recently re-done for her.  Grace likes riding her bike, her 4 wheeler, and scooter.  She loves the typical shows on TV for her age (I Carly and Wizards of Waverly Place) but she also loves to watch TV with Bill (Swamp People is one of their favorites, and Pawn Stars - she recently met Chumlee when we went to Las Vegas!).  She likes to help cook and is really into art projects.  She is a big fan of our nephew Chace (who is behind her by 6 years) but they play together really well.  Grace is a good student in school and does not lack in the friend-making department!  She's like her dad and could carry on a conversation with a brick wall!  haha!  While she may seem like the perfect kid, we do still get the occasional eye roll and whiny attitude, but that comes along with the age, right?!  We wouldn't have her any other way!

Bill is 35 years old and comes from a tiny town here in So IL where he grew up hunting and fishing.  He still loves to hunt and fish and takes Grace as often as he can.  She likes to go as much as he does, but she still takes along dolls, video games, and plenty of snacks....a girl has to be prepared!  Bill works at a coal mine, above ground, in the plant doing maintenance (and a whole lot of other stuff, he says).  He has a great work ethic and works his butt off when he's there to help provide for our family.  I'll let him fill in more for himself this weekend in his own words!

Lisa is 31 years old and I live where I grew up.  I work for a podiatrist 3-4 days a week whose office is only 2 blocks from my house.  I'm very lucky!  My sister is my best friend and she lives about 6 blocks away.  I'm also close to my brother and dad who live within a mile of us!  My sister gave me my first nephew 3 years ago, who I have become very attached to....he loves his Aunt Wisa!  She's also giving me another nephew who will be born the day before my birthday this year.  I can't wait!  I have another nephew (almost 2) who lives in Washington State but will be spending the next 9 months in So IL, so we will get to see him a lot more.  I love photography and take pictures for people often.  While I don't have a business yet, maybe one day I will.  It's a good thing that Grace loves to have her picture taken, I don't know what I'd do without someone always willing to model!  I love to read and I go to the library often.  My brother and sister make fun of me, but that's the "nerdiness" in me they say!  Of course I know they're just teasing....at least they better be!  I love to read James Patterson crime/mystery books and I surprised myself by loving the Twilight saga books.  I love all kinds of movies, but nothing beats a good scary movie with my eyes half covered the whole time!  I love to plan parties and I think Grace has had some awesome birthday parties!   

My (Lisa) family has a family reunion every 3 years in a different part of the United States with a ton of family from all over.  We just got back from Utah/Las Vegas and had a great time.  We enjoy showing Grace parts of the world and learning and having fun along the way.  We love to take small day trips around our area.  There are a lot of places to hike and picnic around here and enjoy the beautiful scenery (unless it's 100 degrees with high humidity!).  We like to go bowling and roller skating, though that's not as easy as it was when we were kids.  We eat dinner together at the kitchen table, I have always thought this was important.  If nothing else, it gives us at least 15 minutes of time to talk about our day.

That's it for now, if you have any questions, just comment or send us an email at buildingthefralickfamily@hotmail.com  Look for more updates and a post on what we've encountered since we applied to adopt.  Have a great day!   

Let's start at the beginning.....Lisa

Although I say that, I don't really know where to start!  I have so many things I want to say and so many things I don't know how to say.  I have a feeling that there will be many posts, not all in exact order - because I just have a lot to say!  I want to be 100% ourselves and not leave anything out, but sometimes some things are just better left unsaid.  Like that one time that Bill.....haha, just kidding. 

I have created this blog because we want to adopt a baby.  And when I say I want to adopt, I don't mean "want" like I "want" a new Canon 60D Digital SLR Camera with an 18-135mm IS lens! 

For as long as I can remember, I have wanted to be a mom.  I did not have a good relationship with my mother, and growing up I knew exactly how it *should* have been.  I told myself that when I had a baby, I would be totally different.  My child would come first in my life no matter what, and they would know they were loved unconditionally every day.           

When Bill and I started dating, he had a 5 year old daughter.  Over the last 5 years, we have formed a great relationship.  I treat her as if she's my own and vice versa.  She lives primarily with her mother, but we see her often.  Grace is very excited for us to adopt, she wants a little brother or sister as much as I do for her!  I took her to lunch one day and gave her the 9-year-old run down of adoption.  She was instantly very excited and went to school and told her teacher and friends about it.  Even though she wasn't here all of the time, she saw the affects of the infertility treatments and was excited that this way, I didn't have to get any more shots!

Ahhhhh, yes, the infertility treatments.  I have been diagnosed with unexplained infertility.  Also polycystic ovarian syndrome, but the dr's said that shouldn't have mattered with IVF.  Speaking of In Vitro Fertilization, we have tried it 3 times.  Not as many as some people, but 3 times too many.  And that was the very last of the treatments.  Before IVF, we had tried pills, injections, monitoring cycles ourselves, etc.  In a sense, it was all worth it because if I hadn't done it I would always wonder "what if we had tried it?"  But, alas, that was not the road for us either.  We had discussed adoption before beginning the IVF cycles, but decided to try them just to see.  Now we know that our baby is waiting for us somewhere, just not made from our own DNA.  When we actually said it out loud, it was as if a weight was lifted off my shoulders and I knew that adoption is what we were meant to do.  My great grandparents had adopted and my grandparents had adopted, so maybe I should have known this all along.  But, I'm stubborn like that!    

As I said before, I am writing this blog because we want to adopt a baby.  As you read our story (which I will continue to work on!) please keep in mind to pass this blog link along.  Even to people that you know are not looking to place their baby for adoption.  Someone may know someone who knows someone.  And this isn't all about us.  Our baby will come from someone who is strong enough to know they are doing the right thing for their child.  The decision that our baby's birth parents will make to place him/her (or both!) for adoption will be the hardest one they will ever have to make.  But, hopefully, by reading about us and our life they will know that choosing us will be a great decision.  Whoever you are, we are patiently waiting for your miracle and think of you every day!