we didn't have any idea where to go from there, really. We talked to our families and friends about adopting and everyone was very excited. We were assured that whether our baby was biologically ours or not, it would receive the same love and attention either way. Not that we had any doubt, but it's nice to have the reassurance!
We have a good friend who had recently adopted, but we aren't "religious enough" (and I don't mean that snarky) to use the same agency. I looked online for hours and researched agencies just to try to get some questions answered as to what we needed to do first. The first agency I called by Chicago bluntly told me they didn't have time and that we should just look somewhere else. Well, then.
Lutheran Child and Family Services had been mentioned to us a couple of times, so I called them and requested an information packet. We received an application in March (several, several pages!) and we were invited to a seminar held in Belleville, IL on April 2, 2011. We spent all day at the seminar and came away with more knowledge than we started with. It's all still so confusing though! Since we turned in our initial paperwork, we have received and turned in more, been fingerprinted, written "essays" about our childhood/young adult years/adult years/and our relationship, and we have waited. We were told that background checks/fingerprint reports don't come back for approximately 2 months. That really stinks because we know they're fine, but they don't. A caseworker has called us just to let us know that they're still waiting and that we are just on the back burner for a while. BUT, that we should continue to "network" and try to find other agencies to work with. Who knew? I always assumed you found and agency and you worked with them. Boy, was I wrong!
We received an email the other day pretty much telling us that they needed proof that we were serious, as the agency is so busy I guess they are trying to figure out who still wants to adopt. Um, yes...we do, we do! I had assumed since we were "on the back burner" and that our home study wasn't even started yet, that we were just supposed to wait for them.....nope! *If* we happen to find a birth parent (or one finds us), there are steps that can be taken to speed the process up.
Gone are the days of waiting for your number to come to receive a baby. You are chosen by the birth parents based on your profile, your website, or even a scrapbook. Though it may take longer, I think this is an awesome system. It gives the birth parents the decision of who will raise their baby. When you put your life out there, you give them all you have. I've read that some people think of this as unethical and that you are "selling" your life. I guess in a sense it is. As long as you are pitching yourself honestly, I don't see a problem with it.
Of course I want someone to read our blog or view our scrapbook and think, "Now, they would be good parents!". But, every birth parent is looking for something different. Out there, I know someone is looking just as hard for us as we are looking for them! I think of you every day and the difficult decision you are struggling with. I hope when you find us your decision will be a little more bearable.
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