but it's all part of it. Going into this, I knew it would take a while. It seemed to take forever to find an agency, and then forever to get started. Forever in my eyes anyway! We made the first call to Lutheran Child and Family Services in February 2011. As I said before, we turned in our application and submitted fingerprints in April. We've been waiting and waiting to hear from our case worker to let us know that we could go ahead. We've heard from her a couple of times to let us know we were on the back burner while they waited for background check clearances for DCFS, but nothing lately. So, I called today and found that our case worker has been out for about a week and another looked at our file for us and said that our clearances came back on June 3!!
On one hand, I was glad to know that it had been done. But, on the other, I would have appreciated a call to let us know that all was ok and they were just busy. I was told that our case worker should be contacting us shortly to schedule an appointment. Her husband has been sick, so that makes it understandable, but still....I wish someone would have called!
Home studies take on average 3-6 months, so I'd like to get the ball rolling. We are encouraged by our agency to be in touch with other agencies to "network", but no one even wants to talk to us unless our home study is done. Tick - tock.... However, if we happen to find a birth parent, things can be sped up. So, please continue to pass along the link to our blog! Thanks!
We continue to think daily of the parents of our baby who are looking for us as much as we are looking for them. We think of you every day and the courageous decision you have weighing on your mind. And while we get frustrated and it seems to take f.o.r.e.v.e.r, we'll find each other one day!
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Get to know us a little better....
and head over to my original blog - http://www.fralickfamily.blogspot.com/ You'll find lots of pictures, stories, and other nonsense that I've rambled on about! Don't forget if you have any questions, just email me at buildingthefralickfamily@hotmail.com
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Here are some pictures from our recent family vacation, clockwise from top left corner: The only thing Grace wanted to do while we were in Las Vegas was go to Gold and Silver Pawn, the pawn shop famous on the History Channel's show "Pawn Stars". We went for 2 days in hopes that she would meet the cast, and she finally met Chumlee, the one she most wanted to meet! *Odd show for a kid to like, I know!* 2) Us outside our hotel in LV, getting ready to go walk the strip. 3) Modeling a cool sign we found on Fremont St. 4) Mini golfing in Utah. 5) Grace came across a "statue" while we were walking the strip one night. It was a very convincing statue too! 6) The only picture I really wanted in LV, by the famous sign, we almost didn't get it because we were cutting it close on time to get to the airport, but I really wanted that picture! 7) At the Hoover Dam, I am very afraid of heights and my knees buckled a little! 8) Bill and Grace at the Hoover Dam - it was very windy there!
Monday, July 11, 2011
So what do you want?
This seems to be a common question when we talk to people about adopting. We want what every parent wants when they are having children. I know what they mean though. Race? Age? Sex? It seems that since you are adopting that you get to have your choice of what you want, but it's not that simple. I can tell you what we think we want. But, I could be all wrong. What can I say?! I'm not always right! We could get a call eventually that someone has chosen us and the baby be completely opposite of what we had in mind, and we may fall head over heels for him/her. Time will tell.
Ideally, we would like to adopt domestically. There may come a time when we decide to go beyond the borders, but for now we are sticking with the US. Sex does not matter one bit to us. You don't have the option when you conceive a baby (actually, you can try to scientifically - but I think you're messing with the wrong kind of stuff there!) so why be picky when adopting? We don't have a preference of race either. Call me selfish, but I would prefer an infant. I want those "bonding from birth" experiences. I may not get that, but if you ask me what age I want right now - that's my answer! The other question that is asked is how we feel about special needs. Since the category "special needs" is so vague, it just depends on the issue. There are a lot of adoptive parents out there who, no questions asked, could take on anything that came their way. I admire these people in a big way.
So, though it's something we get asked a lot, I couldn't tell you 100% "what we want". I know that things can change in an instant, and we're open to explore anything that comes at us. I also know in my heart that when our baby comes along I know he/she will be exactly what we've been looking for and exactly what we want.
Ideally, we would like to adopt domestically. There may come a time when we decide to go beyond the borders, but for now we are sticking with the US. Sex does not matter one bit to us. You don't have the option when you conceive a baby (actually, you can try to scientifically - but I think you're messing with the wrong kind of stuff there!) so why be picky when adopting? We don't have a preference of race either. Call me selfish, but I would prefer an infant. I want those "bonding from birth" experiences. I may not get that, but if you ask me what age I want right now - that's my answer! The other question that is asked is how we feel about special needs. Since the category "special needs" is so vague, it just depends on the issue. There are a lot of adoptive parents out there who, no questions asked, could take on anything that came their way. I admire these people in a big way.
So, though it's something we get asked a lot, I couldn't tell you 100% "what we want". I know that things can change in an instant, and we're open to explore anything that comes at us. I also know in my heart that when our baby comes along I know he/she will be exactly what we've been looking for and exactly what we want.
Saturday, July 9, 2011
After we said it out loud.....
we didn't have any idea where to go from there, really. We talked to our families and friends about adopting and everyone was very excited. We were assured that whether our baby was biologically ours or not, it would receive the same love and attention either way. Not that we had any doubt, but it's nice to have the reassurance!
We have a good friend who had recently adopted, but we aren't "religious enough" (and I don't mean that snarky) to use the same agency. I looked online for hours and researched agencies just to try to get some questions answered as to what we needed to do first. The first agency I called by Chicago bluntly told me they didn't have time and that we should just look somewhere else. Well, then.
Lutheran Child and Family Services had been mentioned to us a couple of times, so I called them and requested an information packet. We received an application in March (several, several pages!) and we were invited to a seminar held in Belleville, IL on April 2, 2011. We spent all day at the seminar and came away with more knowledge than we started with. It's all still so confusing though! Since we turned in our initial paperwork, we have received and turned in more, been fingerprinted, written "essays" about our childhood/young adult years/adult years/and our relationship, and we have waited. We were told that background checks/fingerprint reports don't come back for approximately 2 months. That really stinks because we know they're fine, but they don't. A caseworker has called us just to let us know that they're still waiting and that we are just on the back burner for a while. BUT, that we should continue to "network" and try to find other agencies to work with. Who knew? I always assumed you found and agency and you worked with them. Boy, was I wrong!
We received an email the other day pretty much telling us that they needed proof that we were serious, as the agency is so busy I guess they are trying to figure out who still wants to adopt. Um, yes...we do, we do! I had assumed since we were "on the back burner" and that our home study wasn't even started yet, that we were just supposed to wait for them.....nope! *If* we happen to find a birth parent (or one finds us), there are steps that can be taken to speed the process up.
Gone are the days of waiting for your number to come to receive a baby. You are chosen by the birth parents based on your profile, your website, or even a scrapbook. Though it may take longer, I think this is an awesome system. It gives the birth parents the decision of who will raise their baby. When you put your life out there, you give them all you have. I've read that some people think of this as unethical and that you are "selling" your life. I guess in a sense it is. As long as you are pitching yourself honestly, I don't see a problem with it.
Of course I want someone to read our blog or view our scrapbook and think, "Now, they would be good parents!". But, every birth parent is looking for something different. Out there, I know someone is looking just as hard for us as we are looking for them! I think of you every day and the difficult decision you are struggling with. I hope when you find us your decision will be a little more bearable.
We have a good friend who had recently adopted, but we aren't "religious enough" (and I don't mean that snarky) to use the same agency. I looked online for hours and researched agencies just to try to get some questions answered as to what we needed to do first. The first agency I called by Chicago bluntly told me they didn't have time and that we should just look somewhere else. Well, then.
Lutheran Child and Family Services had been mentioned to us a couple of times, so I called them and requested an information packet. We received an application in March (several, several pages!) and we were invited to a seminar held in Belleville, IL on April 2, 2011. We spent all day at the seminar and came away with more knowledge than we started with. It's all still so confusing though! Since we turned in our initial paperwork, we have received and turned in more, been fingerprinted, written "essays" about our childhood/young adult years/adult years/and our relationship, and we have waited. We were told that background checks/fingerprint reports don't come back for approximately 2 months. That really stinks because we know they're fine, but they don't. A caseworker has called us just to let us know that they're still waiting and that we are just on the back burner for a while. BUT, that we should continue to "network" and try to find other agencies to work with. Who knew? I always assumed you found and agency and you worked with them. Boy, was I wrong!
We received an email the other day pretty much telling us that they needed proof that we were serious, as the agency is so busy I guess they are trying to figure out who still wants to adopt. Um, yes...we do, we do! I had assumed since we were "on the back burner" and that our home study wasn't even started yet, that we were just supposed to wait for them.....nope! *If* we happen to find a birth parent (or one finds us), there are steps that can be taken to speed the process up.
Gone are the days of waiting for your number to come to receive a baby. You are chosen by the birth parents based on your profile, your website, or even a scrapbook. Though it may take longer, I think this is an awesome system. It gives the birth parents the decision of who will raise their baby. When you put your life out there, you give them all you have. I've read that some people think of this as unethical and that you are "selling" your life. I guess in a sense it is. As long as you are pitching yourself honestly, I don't see a problem with it.
Of course I want someone to read our blog or view our scrapbook and think, "Now, they would be good parents!". But, every birth parent is looking for something different. Out there, I know someone is looking just as hard for us as we are looking for them! I think of you every day and the difficult decision you are struggling with. I hope when you find us your decision will be a little more bearable.
Friday, July 8, 2011
About us....Bill and Lisa
You'll see our picture to the right. This was taken last year....my hair is longer, Grace's hair is shorter, and Bill doesn't have a beard anymore! We have been dating for almost 5 years and married for 3 years August 1! We live in Southern Illinois and love it here (except the humidity in the summer!). We both have family all over the United States, but all of our immediate family lives within 1-30 miles of us.
Bill has a 9 year old daughter and we think she's the best! Grace is a very caring and polite kid, loves to be funny, and thinks she's the next Taylor Swift. Who knows?! We try to encourage her to do her best and be herself. She lives primarily with her mother and we get to see her once a week and every other weekend. She loves it here and has her own room that we have recently re-done for her. Grace likes riding her bike, her 4 wheeler, and scooter. She loves the typical shows on TV for her age (I Carly and Wizards of Waverly Place) but she also loves to watch TV with Bill (Swamp People is one of their favorites, and Pawn Stars - she recently met Chumlee when we went to Las Vegas!). She likes to help cook and is really into art projects. She is a big fan of our nephew Chace (who is behind her by 6 years) but they play together really well. Grace is a good student in school and does not lack in the friend-making department! She's like her dad and could carry on a conversation with a brick wall! haha! While she may seem like the perfect kid, we do still get the occasional eye roll and whiny attitude, but that comes along with the age, right?! We wouldn't have her any other way!
Bill is 35 years old and comes from a tiny town here in So IL where he grew up hunting and fishing. He still loves to hunt and fish and takes Grace as often as he can. She likes to go as much as he does, but she still takes along dolls, video games, and plenty of snacks....a girl has to be prepared! Bill works at a coal mine, above ground, in the plant doing maintenance (and a whole lot of other stuff, he says). He has a great work ethic and works his butt off when he's there to help provide for our family. I'll let him fill in more for himself this weekend in his own words!
Lisa is 31 years old and I live where I grew up. I work for a podiatrist 3-4 days a week whose office is only 2 blocks from my house. I'm very lucky! My sister is my best friend and she lives about 6 blocks away. I'm also close to my brother and dad who live within a mile of us! My sister gave me my first nephew 3 years ago, who I have become very attached to....he loves his Aunt Wisa! She's also giving me another nephew who will be born the day before my birthday this year. I can't wait! I have another nephew (almost 2) who lives in Washington State but will be spending the next 9 months in So IL, so we will get to see him a lot more. I love photography and take pictures for people often. While I don't have a business yet, maybe one day I will. It's a good thing that Grace loves to have her picture taken, I don't know what I'd do without someone always willing to model! I love to read and I go to the library often. My brother and sister make fun of me, but that's the "nerdiness" in me they say! Of course I know they're just teasing....at least they better be! I love to read James Patterson crime/mystery books and I surprised myself by loving the Twilight saga books. I love all kinds of movies, but nothing beats a good scary movie with my eyes half covered the whole time! I love to plan parties and I think Grace has had some awesome birthday parties!
My (Lisa) family has a family reunion every 3 years in a different part of the United States with a ton of family from all over. We just got back from Utah/Las Vegas and had a great time. We enjoy showing Grace parts of the world and learning and having fun along the way. We love to take small day trips around our area. There are a lot of places to hike and picnic around here and enjoy the beautiful scenery (unless it's 100 degrees with high humidity!). We like to go bowling and roller skating, though that's not as easy as it was when we were kids. We eat dinner together at the kitchen table, I have always thought this was important. If nothing else, it gives us at least 15 minutes of time to talk about our day.
That's it for now, if you have any questions, just comment or send us an email at buildingthefralickfamily@hotmail.com Look for more updates and a post on what we've encountered since we applied to adopt. Have a great day!
Bill has a 9 year old daughter and we think she's the best! Grace is a very caring and polite kid, loves to be funny, and thinks she's the next Taylor Swift. Who knows?! We try to encourage her to do her best and be herself. She lives primarily with her mother and we get to see her once a week and every other weekend. She loves it here and has her own room that we have recently re-done for her. Grace likes riding her bike, her 4 wheeler, and scooter. She loves the typical shows on TV for her age (I Carly and Wizards of Waverly Place) but she also loves to watch TV with Bill (Swamp People is one of their favorites, and Pawn Stars - she recently met Chumlee when we went to Las Vegas!). She likes to help cook and is really into art projects. She is a big fan of our nephew Chace (who is behind her by 6 years) but they play together really well. Grace is a good student in school and does not lack in the friend-making department! She's like her dad and could carry on a conversation with a brick wall! haha! While she may seem like the perfect kid, we do still get the occasional eye roll and whiny attitude, but that comes along with the age, right?! We wouldn't have her any other way!
Bill is 35 years old and comes from a tiny town here in So IL where he grew up hunting and fishing. He still loves to hunt and fish and takes Grace as often as he can. She likes to go as much as he does, but she still takes along dolls, video games, and plenty of snacks....a girl has to be prepared! Bill works at a coal mine, above ground, in the plant doing maintenance (and a whole lot of other stuff, he says). He has a great work ethic and works his butt off when he's there to help provide for our family. I'll let him fill in more for himself this weekend in his own words!
Lisa is 31 years old and I live where I grew up. I work for a podiatrist 3-4 days a week whose office is only 2 blocks from my house. I'm very lucky! My sister is my best friend and she lives about 6 blocks away. I'm also close to my brother and dad who live within a mile of us! My sister gave me my first nephew 3 years ago, who I have become very attached to....he loves his Aunt Wisa! She's also giving me another nephew who will be born the day before my birthday this year. I can't wait! I have another nephew (almost 2) who lives in Washington State but will be spending the next 9 months in So IL, so we will get to see him a lot more. I love photography and take pictures for people often. While I don't have a business yet, maybe one day I will. It's a good thing that Grace loves to have her picture taken, I don't know what I'd do without someone always willing to model! I love to read and I go to the library often. My brother and sister make fun of me, but that's the "nerdiness" in me they say! Of course I know they're just teasing....at least they better be! I love to read James Patterson crime/mystery books and I surprised myself by loving the Twilight saga books. I love all kinds of movies, but nothing beats a good scary movie with my eyes half covered the whole time! I love to plan parties and I think Grace has had some awesome birthday parties!
My (Lisa) family has a family reunion every 3 years in a different part of the United States with a ton of family from all over. We just got back from Utah/Las Vegas and had a great time. We enjoy showing Grace parts of the world and learning and having fun along the way. We love to take small day trips around our area. There are a lot of places to hike and picnic around here and enjoy the beautiful scenery (unless it's 100 degrees with high humidity!). We like to go bowling and roller skating, though that's not as easy as it was when we were kids. We eat dinner together at the kitchen table, I have always thought this was important. If nothing else, it gives us at least 15 minutes of time to talk about our day.
That's it for now, if you have any questions, just comment or send us an email at buildingthefralickfamily@hotmail.com Look for more updates and a post on what we've encountered since we applied to adopt. Have a great day!
Let's start at the beginning.....Lisa
Although I say that, I don't really know where to start! I have so many things I want to say and so many things I don't know how to say. I have a feeling that there will be many posts, not all in exact order - because I just have a lot to say! I want to be 100% ourselves and not leave anything out, but sometimes some things are just better left unsaid. Like that one time that Bill.....haha, just kidding.
I have created this blog because we want to adopt a baby. And when I say I want to adopt, I don't mean "want" like I "want" a new Canon 60D Digital SLR Camera with an 18-135mm IS lens!
For as long as I can remember, I have wanted to be a mom. I did not have a good relationship with my mother, and growing up I knew exactly how it *should* have been. I told myself that when I had a baby, I would be totally different. My child would come first in my life no matter what, and they would know they were loved unconditionally every day.
When Bill and I started dating, he had a 5 year old daughter. Over the last 5 years, we have formed a great relationship. I treat her as if she's my own and vice versa. She lives primarily with her mother, but we see her often. Grace is very excited for us to adopt, she wants a little brother or sister as much as I do for her! I took her to lunch one day and gave her the 9-year-old run down of adoption. She was instantly very excited and went to school and told her teacher and friends about it. Even though she wasn't here all of the time, she saw the affects of the infertility treatments and was excited that this way, I didn't have to get any more shots!
Ahhhhh, yes, the infertility treatments. I have been diagnosed with unexplained infertility. Also polycystic ovarian syndrome, but the dr's said that shouldn't have mattered with IVF. Speaking of In Vitro Fertilization, we have tried it 3 times. Not as many as some people, but 3 times too many. And that was the very last of the treatments. Before IVF, we had tried pills, injections, monitoring cycles ourselves, etc. In a sense, it was all worth it because if I hadn't done it I would always wonder "what if we had tried it?" But, alas, that was not the road for us either. We had discussed adoption before beginning the IVF cycles, but decided to try them just to see. Now we know that our baby is waiting for us somewhere, just not made from our own DNA. When we actually said it out loud, it was as if a weight was lifted off my shoulders and I knew that adoption is what we were meant to do. My great grandparents had adopted and my grandparents had adopted, so maybe I should have known this all along. But, I'm stubborn like that!
As I said before, I am writing this blog because we want to adopt a baby. As you read our story (which I will continue to work on!) please keep in mind to pass this blog link along. Even to people that you know are not looking to place their baby for adoption. Someone may know someone who knows someone. And this isn't all about us. Our baby will come from someone who is strong enough to know they are doing the right thing for their child. The decision that our baby's birth parents will make to place him/her (or both!) for adoption will be the hardest one they will ever have to make. But, hopefully, by reading about us and our life they will know that choosing us will be a great decision. Whoever you are, we are patiently waiting for your miracle and think of you every day!
I have created this blog because we want to adopt a baby. And when I say I want to adopt, I don't mean "want" like I "want" a new Canon 60D Digital SLR Camera with an 18-135mm IS lens!
For as long as I can remember, I have wanted to be a mom. I did not have a good relationship with my mother, and growing up I knew exactly how it *should* have been. I told myself that when I had a baby, I would be totally different. My child would come first in my life no matter what, and they would know they were loved unconditionally every day.
When Bill and I started dating, he had a 5 year old daughter. Over the last 5 years, we have formed a great relationship. I treat her as if she's my own and vice versa. She lives primarily with her mother, but we see her often. Grace is very excited for us to adopt, she wants a little brother or sister as much as I do for her! I took her to lunch one day and gave her the 9-year-old run down of adoption. She was instantly very excited and went to school and told her teacher and friends about it. Even though she wasn't here all of the time, she saw the affects of the infertility treatments and was excited that this way, I didn't have to get any more shots!
Ahhhhh, yes, the infertility treatments. I have been diagnosed with unexplained infertility. Also polycystic ovarian syndrome, but the dr's said that shouldn't have mattered with IVF. Speaking of In Vitro Fertilization, we have tried it 3 times. Not as many as some people, but 3 times too many. And that was the very last of the treatments. Before IVF, we had tried pills, injections, monitoring cycles ourselves, etc. In a sense, it was all worth it because if I hadn't done it I would always wonder "what if we had tried it?" But, alas, that was not the road for us either. We had discussed adoption before beginning the IVF cycles, but decided to try them just to see. Now we know that our baby is waiting for us somewhere, just not made from our own DNA. When we actually said it out loud, it was as if a weight was lifted off my shoulders and I knew that adoption is what we were meant to do. My great grandparents had adopted and my grandparents had adopted, so maybe I should have known this all along. But, I'm stubborn like that!
As I said before, I am writing this blog because we want to adopt a baby. As you read our story (which I will continue to work on!) please keep in mind to pass this blog link along. Even to people that you know are not looking to place their baby for adoption. Someone may know someone who knows someone. And this isn't all about us. Our baby will come from someone who is strong enough to know they are doing the right thing for their child. The decision that our baby's birth parents will make to place him/her (or both!) for adoption will be the hardest one they will ever have to make. But, hopefully, by reading about us and our life they will know that choosing us will be a great decision. Whoever you are, we are patiently waiting for your miracle and think of you every day!
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