Nothing.
That's exactly what's going on with our adoption wait right now. In reality, I know that there is something more "grand" going on behind the scenes that I'm not aware of....but, as far as I'm concerned, nothing is going on.
Every once in a while I find myself agonizing over it. I'm ready. I'm tired of all the waiting. Not knowing. It's not fair. Yadda, yadda, yadda. It's becoming more frequent and I wish it wasn't....but, such is life. I think it's a woman thing, we are born to agonize over little (and not so little!) things. I want so badly to be oblivious to it and not think about it. That wouldn't be real though. I think this is all normal for this situation. So, we wait!
Are there any questions you have? Anything you've been wondering about our adoption process so far, or adoption in general? Ask away! I need a new blog topic! :) Shoot me a comment or an email and I'll answer your questions in blog form...or privately if you prefer!! Have a good night!!
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Tonight...I am fine.
Well, that wait was shorter than I had anticipated! The birth mom chose another family.
I had mixed feelings when our case worker called. I was -not surprised-, since I am used to things not working out. I was -thankful- because it was my hope that if it was not going to work out in the end that she would not pick us anyway. (I think this was a sign that it wasn't going to work out well anyway, since there were so many risky issues.) I was -humbled- at the thought that I believed our profile was so awesome, everyone would want to choose us. I was -sad- that there we are one step backward when I thought we were taking a big step forward. I was -glad- that this means we go right back on "the list", which means we are once again ready to wait for our baby. I was -mad-....just because sometimes through all of this I get mad. I was -anxious- because this means I go right back to having my heart rate quicken and my palms get all sweaty when I don't recognize a phone number. I was -grateful- that there was a birth mom out there who was making a courageous decision and not taking the "easy way out", and though she didn't choose us, she is trusting a family with her very precious gift...and I know they will be forever grateful.
Tonight, I am -fine- because I know if it had been meant to be, it would have been....and apparently it wasn't. So, tonight I am fine.
I had mixed feelings when our case worker called. I was -not surprised-, since I am used to things not working out. I was -thankful- because it was my hope that if it was not going to work out in the end that she would not pick us anyway. (I think this was a sign that it wasn't going to work out well anyway, since there were so many risky issues.) I was -humbled- at the thought that I believed our profile was so awesome, everyone would want to choose us. I was -sad- that there we are one step backward when I thought we were taking a big step forward. I was -glad- that this means we go right back on "the list", which means we are once again ready to wait for our baby. I was -mad-....just because sometimes through all of this I get mad. I was -anxious- because this means I go right back to having my heart rate quicken and my palms get all sweaty when I don't recognize a phone number. I was -grateful- that there was a birth mom out there who was making a courageous decision and not taking the "easy way out", and though she didn't choose us, she is trusting a family with her very precious gift...and I know they will be forever grateful.
Tonight, I am -fine- because I know if it had been meant to be, it would have been....and apparently it wasn't. So, tonight I am fine.
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Waiting and wondering!
As the week goes on, I find myself wondering what "our" potential birth mom is doing....besides trying to make the biggest decision of her life! I hope that she is comforted a little while looking at profiles, knowing that there are many people out there waiting to give a loving home to a baby. I think of her tonight and hope she knows how corageous she is.
I've been trying to keep it off my mind so I don't make myself crazy. My sister told me today that she was about to go nuts wondering if she was going to be an aunt in a few months. It took me a minute to realize she was talking about me!
I'm wondering too, but we will find out soon enough if we were chosen or not. In the meantime, to keep myself from wondering *too much* I will: pin lots of stuff to my boards on pinterest, work, exercise (a little), find some easy sewing projects for Grace to work on, return some books to the library, wait to meet my baby nephew for the first time who will be visiting from Washington soon, and fantasize about baby names and nursery schemes! A girl has to dream right?!
I hold onto the thought that if it's meant to be, it will be! Hopefully in a couple of days, we will know. In the meantime, I've got boards to pin to! Speaking of pinning, what do you think of this necklace I've pinned? I totally want one.
I've been trying to keep it off my mind so I don't make myself crazy. My sister told me today that she was about to go nuts wondering if she was going to be an aunt in a few months. It took me a minute to realize she was talking about me!
I'm wondering too, but we will find out soon enough if we were chosen or not. In the meantime, to keep myself from wondering *too much* I will: pin lots of stuff to my boards on pinterest, work, exercise (a little), find some easy sewing projects for Grace to work on, return some books to the library, wait to meet my baby nephew for the first time who will be visiting from Washington soon, and fantasize about baby names and nursery schemes! A girl has to dream right?!
I hold onto the thought that if it's meant to be, it will be! Hopefully in a couple of days, we will know. In the meantime, I've got boards to pin to! Speaking of pinning, what do you think of this necklace I've pinned? I totally want one.
Thursday, March 1, 2012
One small step for us....
One giant leap for my heart. I received a call at work Wed. from our caseworker. She had some information on a prospective birthmom and needed to know if we would like the birthmom to view our profile. We received a lot of information, which was overwhelming, but exciting. This would be the first time our profile would be shown, if we chose to. My hands were shaky, my heart was pounding, and my mind was in shambles. Our caseworker said she would email me all of the details she had so we could look over them and discuss them. She would need to know by Fri morning at the latest. Friday morning?! That was 1.5 days away!! Oy.
You would think that our answer would be so easy! Screaming a simple "yes" was what I pictured our first profile showing answer would be. But, if I've learned anything, it's that things don't always go how you would picture them! :) The thing is, this particular case comes with some pretty high risk situations. [Not with the baby though, she is perfectly healthy according to sonogram!] :)
A lot of things had to be considered; mostly emotions. Mainly, how would we feel if this didn't work out? Seems like we've been in that sort of situation somewhere before! ;) After we talked about it, we knew we would do what our first instincts told us to do, and we agreed to have our profile shown! It may seem such a small step, because all of these "what if's" won't even matter if she chooses another family's profile. But, it is a huge leap of faith for my heart!
We won't know for about a week if she will choose us or not. In the meantime, I'll try not to go too crazy! :) I've just got to believe that if it's meant to be, that we will be chosen. If it's not meant to be, and she doesn't choose us, we will go on and know that the right birthparent is out there looking for us. Whoever they are, whether it be the birth mom who will see our life in letters and pictures next week, or one who will view it in the future, we continue to think of them and the selfless act they are choosing for their baby. Please think of us as we wait this week out! Also, please give a thought to this birth mom that she will find comfort in the decision she makes. We are anxious and excited to see what happens!!
You would think that our answer would be so easy! Screaming a simple "yes" was what I pictured our first profile showing answer would be. But, if I've learned anything, it's that things don't always go how you would picture them! :) The thing is, this particular case comes with some pretty high risk situations. [Not with the baby though, she is perfectly healthy according to sonogram!] :)
A lot of things had to be considered; mostly emotions. Mainly, how would we feel if this didn't work out? Seems like we've been in that sort of situation somewhere before! ;) After we talked about it, we knew we would do what our first instincts told us to do, and we agreed to have our profile shown! It may seem such a small step, because all of these "what if's" won't even matter if she chooses another family's profile. But, it is a huge leap of faith for my heart!
We won't know for about a week if she will choose us or not. In the meantime, I'll try not to go too crazy! :) I've just got to believe that if it's meant to be, that we will be chosen. If it's not meant to be, and she doesn't choose us, we will go on and know that the right birthparent is out there looking for us. Whoever they are, whether it be the birth mom who will see our life in letters and pictures next week, or one who will view it in the future, we continue to think of them and the selfless act they are choosing for their baby. Please think of us as we wait this week out! Also, please give a thought to this birth mom that she will find comfort in the decision she makes. We are anxious and excited to see what happens!!
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